| Being
where we need to be
I just got back from a
short trip to England where I stayed with my
son and his partner in their new place. It’s
in a very beautiful setting in the Lake
District. Every window frames a delightful
and natural view. My daughter stayed with us
too and I briefly met her new partner when
we went out one evening. We all had a
wonderful time and did so much within the
space of five days. It was a joy to be with
them and heartening to witness their
happiness. And although I did the odd thing
to contribute, mostly I felt very much
‘looked after’ by them.
So why did I feel so isolated and unsettled
on my return, as if I were leaving the known
for the unknown. Something I haven’t felt
for a long time. I’m familiar with feelings
of sadness that accompany saying goodbye to
those I love but usually they are fleeting
knowing, as I do, that we will meet again
before long.
I was extremely tired. My flight was delayed
by two hours and, on landing I faced a
two-hour drive in darkness through a heavy
storm. I needed to put aside any judgement
and gain some perspective.
Two days on I and I was refreshed. I
certainly had felt at home, as I usually do,
with my children. It may be that my
intuition was sending me a message about
needing to be nearer to my family at some
stage. It may be that I experienced a
yearning for the bright clarity of new
beginnings. But for now, just as I could see
that they are in the best possible place for
each of them, for the moment at least, so
too am I where I need to be.
There are times when you may question where
you are and what you are doing. Maybe you
too have stepped temporarily out of your
usual environment, on holiday or visiting
friends. You observe their life and compare
it with yours. Maybe you are on a path that
demands much focus and commitment and to
relax with family or friends reminds you how
vital it is to balance work and play. Or
perhaps unconsciously you are seeking
something that, as yet, you cannot put a
name to.
At times like these it is always a good idea
to listen to those urgings, even to try to
work out what they mean for you. You may
even want to capture your thoughts in a
journal. Writing down your thoughts and
feelings takes them out of your head, where
they can create confusion, and puts them
clearly on the page, where you can refer to
them at any time.
When we compare our lives with other
peoples, even those we know well, we can
only see their existence from the outside.
Our view is limited to what they allow us to
see. On the other hand our own situation we
experience fully, including our feelings,
often ones of self-doubt. This extra feeling
perspective can ‘muddy’ the picture if we
let it run riot, but if we can harness the
power of our feelings they are a valuable
source of information.
As human beings we are constantly trying to
‘get somewhere’, chasing some standard of
success that, once attained, will bring us
validation or the happiness we seek.
Sometimes being with others brings a fresh
perspective that can teach us a lot. But you
are unique and what may be right for someone
else will not be ideal for you.
Better to let the final word rest with the
teacher within you. You are where you need
to be. Ask for guidance and truth from your
intuition. Then listen. This is where you
need to be to discover your own answers.
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